A week of Dukan | Cruise recipe ideas

Well, I’ve made it seven whole days on the Dukan diet without once, at least to my knowledge, buckling. There has been the odd vodka and slimline tonic, though I think that, like counting cards or masturbating on an airplane, is merely frowned upon. It’s not verboten. I’ve lost 9lb and still have at least a portion of willpower left to see this through.

At this point I should perhaps state that my opinion of diets hasn’t really changed. I still think they’re silly. I think they make one unhappy – or in this case a vacillating combination of deeply miserable and giddily chipper – and I think broadly speaking they are, as the detractors say, doomed to fail.

Everyone loves to give their tuppenceworth about diets (or in the case of this blog a platform to chuck in at least a fiver). The most consistent suggestions goes something like: “if you want to lose weight just eat less and exercise more.” I’ve said it myself. It is of course true. But it is also like saying to an alcoholic, “just have one glass of wine a day.” People don’t work that way. If you have the self-discipline to follow the eat less/exercise more approach, then good on you.

I don’t, and for all the mood swings, the self-imposed ostracism, the denial, the strange guilt-ridden dreams, and the shadowy sense that this is all a bootless vanity, the ephemeral shortcomings are worth it if the end result is a healthier, happier human being. Furthermore, and as I have said before, I think it is no bad thing to deny oneself some of life’s pleasures from time to time.


The first day of the ‘Cruise’ stage – involving alternating protein only days with protein and veg days, not becoming a Scientologist and hiding in a closet (although at times hiding in a closet is quite appealing) – brings such elation you’ll think the smallest bean the greatest morsel to ever pass your lips. Balls to seasonality, you just want fresh, crunchy greens.

I fell on the vegetable aisle like a sea lion on another sea lion who may or may not be trying to boff the sexy young sea lion lady. A stir fry of prawns, mange touts, spring onions, shiitake, garlic, soy and fish sauce almost made me weep with joy, though it could have done with chillies – which for some reason I thought, being a fruit, were a no-no (they’re not) – and peanuts (which are), but my god man…it erased the previous five days quicker than a very nervous person with an etchasketch.

Dinner, a simple chilli – though let me tell you the sweet taste of tomato was a treat in itself – with aubergine gunge and peppers, was an ethnically confused affair but worked perfectly well. Roast halved pepper and an aubergine in a very hot oven (250C) for 20 minutes while your chilli bubbles away. Skin the aubergine and mash with 0% yoghurt, lemon juice, garlic, and parsley. Stuff the peppers with the chilli and lob on the aubergine mess.

I leave it to you, dear reader, to tell me when you’re bored of my wanging on about this Dukan nonsense, and I’ll talk about something else. Like how at the supper club last night my sister managed to get locked in the bathroom for two hours.


22 thoughts on “A week of Dukan | Cruise recipe ideas

  1. 9lbs in a week is pretty impressive – keep it up. I’d be bored of reading it in a lady mag but definitely not your account (100% more sea lion references!) x

  2. We had a guest stuck in the loo one Christmas. Everyone was having too much fun to hear her cries and there was a second bathroom so it actually took about 3 hours before we noticed Vanessa’s absence.

    When I’ve done low-carb things my moods have really suffered and I have had no energy at all. Are you finding a lack of energy?

  3. Impossible to get bored when you write the way you do. When the belts in the house get a little snug I tend to get a touch evangelical about the merits of pulses and spout the adage of ‘eat less cheese, walk more’ – but am fascinated to see how someone with a real sensibility for food makes this stuff work.

    • Oh thank you Tori. It’s amazing how every other technique sounds more appealing than the one you’re doing. The idea of just cutting out carbs now sounds amazing, but I’m committed!

  4. Pingback: Is British best? | Lifestyle News

  5. Pingback: Is British best?

  6. Pingback: Food in Britain: better than we think — León da Gusto Blog

  7. Pingback: UK Food: Good Food with a Bad Reputation

  8. Good on you for trying out the diet. I must disagree with you though regarding ‘less eating and more exercise’. I tried that and it didn’t work. Lots of people try it and think they are just a failure and then give up and get fatter. I’ve been reading a lot about the addiction to wheat and how we don’t need as much carbs as we are all told to eat in our ‘Recommended Daily Allowance’. I think this is the reason people don’t lose weight. Changing our lifestyles by cutting out sugar, flour, wheat etc is what Im thinking. Even though I believe all this, I also find it hard not to eat this stuff. Doing Dukan has helped me cut it out, but I still fall off the wagon every now and again (or if you do read my blog – err every week)

  9. So… 12 month later… How are u getting on?
    I am currently ‘cruising’ and can’t wait for some cherry toms when I get to work!

  10. Pingback: Recipe | Mexican fish stew | James Ramsden

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *